It was 40 years ago or more that I observed a friend of mine showing great affection for someone I considered unworthy of love. I thought my friend was being taken in, and I was afraid he would be disillusioned and saddened in the end.
More than a week has already passed but things are just getting a little better... when i saw the gift that the Song family gave i was really happy... haha something that i needed.. and not only that the card that was written was really cool too.... and su yi the speech was really cool.. i wonder how long you took to think of what to write... hmmm it was really nice for someone to take the effort to write so mcuh... sorry but the truth is that i appreciated the card more... though the capo was what i really needed with the blings... haha and joey and quincy... the card was a real wowwer... i was really shocked ..a ll the way from US... the effort taken is really appreciated... thanks so much.. and i also realized how su kym actually got the box for the sunglasses another wowwer...
hmm i just realized that my header ( the pic on top of the blog) for my blog is really really emo.. haihz why is things emo... things are suppose to get better.... i should be happy.. not that i am not happy... its just that sometimes something struck me that makes me feel very upset... life goes on.. someday things would get better... God will make a way..
Two days in a row my sleep has been disturbed... i could barely sleep.... on friday i slept at 4 and i had an accounts test the next day... then on saturday... again i couldnt manage to sleep.. probably only managed to sleep around 4 something... got up at 6 something and didnt know what to do so i took out my bio book and tried to revise but i keep getting distracted...

Arghh what a weekend... this is really meaningless...but it was great that my cousin celebrated his birthday today at bubba gump which led me to a cheery night.. cause the whole morning i have been sleepy and moody... haihz...

I guess when i prayed the prayer that i want to go through all the challenges in life with you God... and life has been getting a little more difficult then usual.. things are getting bad.. but i know that God has a plan and everything he does is for my own good... and i know that he is with me otherwise i would go crazy or wouldn't even be living...

p.s. listening to love songs or emo songs nowadyas are so touchy.... affects my emotions instantly as i listen to the lyrics that were so real to me...
wow... my birthday falls on 09/09/09 its still cool in my head though it has already been sixteen years of my bday... never get tired of the date.. well this year happens to be a more special date than before...

Though nothing much happened today apart from the greatest bday party i had.. haha no one actually celebrates.. and cool presents really appreciated it and it is not sarcastic or anything i really am cause it means a lot to me no matter how much it cost.. it was just the thought of getting me something or the the effort to remember when my birthday... and seriously i really appreciate it... it really mean lots and lots to me... it was special.. i remember the first present i got from a school friend... one not from my family... and it was from mun hong.. it was a glass swan.... and i was so surprised when i first got it... i will never forget it.. then after that i got a gift from ann, joey, khiing and quincy.... it was two necklaces wrapped in a handmade box... something i would not forget... today i got lots of stuff... i got a pair of sunglasses wrapped in a princess wrapping paper and it was really cool it was white matches my watch and suspenders ... and a princess card.. owh yah it was from ann, ghuan and kym... then i got a really cool suspenders from topman.. it had stripes... and it was from khiing, megan and wei hern... yet another really cool gift... something i wanted to buy but dare not spend since currently on tight budget... can wait to get back my money.... haha.. but its a good training to live with a little money... then i got a cool radio from gavin... it was really thoughtful of him since we were not really close and i didnt get him anything for his bday... then hans got me goody bag... lots of sweets in it... owh yah and there was also a cake from lynn's it was a brownie... btw it is also wang's bday.. he is like my little bro that i never had...

owh i forgot my intention of writing this post... so anyway birthday means more than it seems... to me birthday is an anniversary of the day someone was born.. it was a day to be glad that the person was born... it is a day to reflect back how much the person means to you... and what were the great moments and the great things the person has done... its a celbration for being born... its a day that everyone is glad that the person is born.. thats why ppl make bdays seem so special whereas i never thought it was special until i thought about it while taking mika for a walk... haha what a bday... taking my dog out for a walk... lepaking at home replying all the wall post on facebook... got one in friendster but lazy to check... wow anyway still a great day
What i truly miss is your beautiful smile
The one that makes my heart fall to the ground
The one that makes me smile for days and days
That one smile made me carry on

What i longed to see once again is your cheerful laughter
The one that makes everyone else laugh
The one that seems like it was genuine but it was only a sympathy laugh
That laughter lit many lifes

What i wanted the most was to hold you in my arms and tell you that everything will be ok
The one hug that is warm and filled with love
The one hug that brings us to tears
That hug makes everyone be at the state of "awww"

What i wanted was for you ask for help when you need it
The one cry that makes me feel that i am needed somewhere
The one that i can't do much but hopes to make you the happies of all
That one cry makes me feel like i am useful

All things about you i have loved and cherish
We shared the happiest and saddest moments
Though we could never understand we we each felt
But the words that we shared made us tremendously glad
When we lose a loved one, we grieve for them and our hearts will be filled with sorrow and sadness.. but what if it was not the earthly body that was lost.. what if it was the persons personality which had been lost and had been taken over by something else??? we wont grieve or sob and cry the whole day.. all you could think about was how it was back then when everything seem so nice and peaceful... when it seems like we are at cloud 9... You will feel a feeling that makes you desire for the person to be as he/she used to be ... but some things just change and we can't stop it... sometimes changes take place for good and not for bad... but sometimes changes can be for the worst... things will not always be the way we want it to be... but we have to go on with life and find happiness...


p.s. if you think that the person i am talking about is you.. then i wish and hope that you would cheer up and have a happier life that God changes things for the best and not for the worst as what he has promised in the Bible...
Of all feelings, love is the greatest of them all... Love is a feeling that is incomparable to any other.. How do you know when love strikes you?? how can you be sure it is love??

Apart from love, crushes and lust are a close resemblance and it may deceive you to believe that it is the desirable feeling of love... never let that fool you... it only tears your world apart and breaks your heart into pieces...

A victim of crushes and lust can be devastated by the overpowering deceitfulness that it holds but what is most important is that we pick ourselves up and recover from the damages.. Don't let the hurt and pain dwell in you that it overpowers and take over your life.. live life to the fullest and remember that life goes on.. I guess the most powerful method to surpass this torturous moments is to pray ... and believe that God knows best and whatever may come your way is for our own best..

The truth is I can't defferentiate the feeling of love, crush and lust... won't someone help me endure this... life is not as it is anymore.. things are beginning to change..